Characteristics OF AN ENGINEER

You might be an engineer if…

If your I.Q. number is bigger than your weight
If you have a habit of destroying things in order to see how they
work
If your wristwatch has more buttons than a telephone
If you introduce your wife as “mywife@home.com”
If your spouse sends you an e-mail instead of calling you to dinner
If you can quote scenes from any Monty Python movie
If you want an 52X CDROM for Christmas
If the only jokes you receive are through e-mail
If your idea of good interpersonal communication means getting the
decimal point in the right place
If you use a CAD package to design your son’s Pine Wood Derby car
If you have used coat hangers and duct tape for something other than
hanging coats and taping ducts
If your ideal evening consists of fast-forwarding through the latest
sci-fi movie looking for technical inaccuracies
If you have “Dilbert” comics displayed anywhere in your work area
If you carry on a one-hour debate over the expected results of a
test that actually takes five minutes to run
If you don’t even know where the cover to your personal computer is
If you have modified your can-opener to be microprocessor driven
If you know the direction the water swirls when you flush
If you have ever taken the back off your TV just to see what’s
inside
If a team of you and your co-workers have set out to modify the
antenna on the radio in your work area for better reception
If you are currently gathering the components to build your own
nuclear reactor
If you have never backed-up your hard drive
If you are aware that computers are actually only good for playing
games, but are afraid to say it out loud
If you truly believe aliens are living among us
If you have ever saved the power cord from a broken appliance
If you see a good design and still have to change it
If the salespeople at Circuit City can’t answer any of your
questions
If you still own a slide rule and you know how to work it
If you rotate your screen savers more frequently than your
automobile tires
If you have a functioning home copier machine, but every toaster you
own turns bread into charcoal
If you need a checklist to turn on the TV
If you have introduced your kids by the wrong name
If the microphone or visual aids at a meeting don’t work and you
rush up to the front to fix it
If you can remember 7 computer passwords but not your anniversary
If you have memorized the program schedule for the Discovery channel
and have seen most of the shows already
If your father sat 2 inches in front of your family’s first color TV
with a magnifying lens to see how they made the colors, and you grew
up thinking that was normal
If you know how to take the cover off of your computer, and what
size screw driver to use
If you can type 70 words a minute but can’t read your own
handwriting
If you can’t remember where you parked your car for the 3rd time
this week
If your checkbook always balances
If your girlfriend says the way you dress is no reflection on her
If you have more friends on the Internet than in real life
If you think your computer looks better without the cover
If you think that when people around you yawn, its because they
didn’t get enough sleep
If you spend more on your home computer than your car
If you know what http:// stands for
If your three year old son asks why the sky is blue and you try to
explain atmospheric absorption theory.
If your lap-top computer costs more than your car.